I Dream of You

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I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I’ve ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours. ― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

I felt her

I felt her soft petals touch me and I wondered if dreams come true

I dreamed of you.  This sadness we feel is held at bay by the cosmic shine of our Hyperion universe on our backs.  I sat somewhere, in some far place, my head and eyes cast down as I contemplate the true meaning of that ache that persists.  You look up slightly and feel the shine of those countless stars, in the endless void, against your cheek.  You don’t know it, but you press closer to me and hold me with such a light touch, I can’t perceive if it’s the warmth of your body or the star shine that warms my back.  I just know it feels good and I never want it to end. Continue reading

The Garden of Darkness and Light #13

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At this moment she wasn’t ashamed of loving him, because her physical desire had gone and all she felt towards him now was pity and a profound, almost maternal tenderness. She forced herself to smile. ― Irène Némirovsky, Suite Francaise

Sunset

In those last days at the tower, the sunsets gave up their secrets and the garden fell into ruin

I dreamed of her last night with me every night for the first year. Each time, I searched my sub-conscience for some clue to her departure. I’d hoped she whispered it in my ear as we made love or as she lay beside me while I slept. The dream faded in time, corrupted by my desire to understand why Sophie abandoned our veracious love for one another and slipped away. Continue reading

Lost Love

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Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back. ― Mitch Albom, For One More Day

Despair

We cry as if tears will bring them back

There is no sorrow greater than the loss of love you held more dear than your own life. Love you spent your whole life searching for, and fearing it might never come, is just within your grasp. You knew they were out there.  Your spirit searched many lifetimes and millennia for that one person that professed their sweet love and undying devotion. You believed it until carelessness came like a breeze and swept it all away. Their love, Like a chilling fog rising from the dew covered grass, burned away in the heat of your passion to say or do that rash thing. Continue reading

The Garden of Darkness and Light #12

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A bridge of silver wings stretches from the dead ashes of an unforgiving nightmare to the jeweled vision of a life started anew.― Aberjhani

Garden 12

As one bloom ceases, another finds its day

In the cool, dark early morning, questions raced across some boundless stormy sky in my mind, illuminated against the boiling clouds that obscured reason, swallowed by what I didn’t know, and lost to me, until I could summon these thoughts repeatedly and some clear answer, true or false, gave me respite. The constant voice of these thoughts in my mind never ceased as I considered where this was all taking me. I could only let time drag me forward, toward Sophie; to see her, to put the years long mourning of her loss aside and turn to my future as the past finally released me to live again. Continue reading

The Garden of Darkness and Light #11

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Always remember… Rumors are carried by haters, spread by fools, and accepted by idiots.” ― Ziad K. Abdelnour

Garden 11

Where there is hope, there is life.

Sonia lay sound asleep, her cheek on my shoulder with her warm breath flowing softly against my neck in a rhythm that matched my own. Her leg was tightly wrapped around mine as if to make sure I wouldn’t slip away from her grasp while she slept. I looked up into the black ceiling as she slept and played the words she spoke earlier through my head. Sweat collected between the tight contact of our bodies and slowly ran down my side in concert with the images in my mind as they danced, melted away, and reformed.  I stroked the long slender fingers of her hand on my chest and tried to make sense of what was to happen next. Continue reading

Hope Grows in the Fertile Soil of Sorrow

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They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for. ― Tom Bodett

Juron 3

Hope is the Life’s Blood of the Warrior

The wind blows across my face,
Like constant sorrow, icy cold.
My soul shudders within the space,
Hidden deep in the narrow folds.
Yet faintly carried on Robins’ wings,
A scent of cherry blossom Spring,

In the numbing cold I go,
Crystal ice hides my sight.
The banshee howl of sorrow blows,
White petals across the night,
And on the icy wind a glow,
The hint of morning light.

Twenty-First Century Love

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Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. ― Louis de Bernières, Captain Corelli’s Mandolin

Girl inShadow

The Girl in the Shadows

I wonder where she is sometimes. What is she thinking, that girl. The one I love so much. I sit sometimes at my computer as the toroidal coordinates map and weave some quadrapolar vector for my analysis and yet I am blind to it. I only see her face in the dark somewhere. Continue reading

How I Came To Be

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It’s often just enough to be with someone. I don’t need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You’re not alone. ― Marilyn Monroe

street

Digital oil based on the original photo by Scot Takushi St. Paul Pioneer Press.

Walking along a busy road, I see the chalk lines left to record the last moment of some happy and excited life, now gone, just chalk on the road.  The cars drove over the line and added a layer of dirt and when the light changed the masses moved on, adding more dirt, slowly erasing the fresh thought that someone ended their journey there.  I took a shortcut down a side street, lost in my own thoughts. Continue reading

The Things Fathers Do

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I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom. ― Umberto Eco, Foucault’s Pendulum

Father

They Were Young, And Fathers Too.

(Originally featured in, Soldier of Fortune)  This picture reminded me of when I put my two-year old daughter in my ruck sack and then, on my back.  She rode with me on my bicycle, through the bustling crowd of Tong Du Cheon, South Korea, to the gate at Camp Casey.  Once at the gate, she would peep out of the top and wave at the guard, who never failed to smile and salute her, before waving us through.

I took her to the post exchange and held her hand, as we walked through the toy section, candy section, and on to the toddler’s clothes, looking for that one thing that brightened her day and mine.  After picking up a few things, she climbed back into the ruck sack and ate her treat, as I pumped the pedals, and wound through the back alleys, past the little shops, and on to our apartment.  The uniform is passage to a fairy tale land, where your children build memories their stateside friends can’t imagine. Tomorrow, she will bring my two grand daughters where new memories await their birth in the fertile minds of little girls.

I’ll Walk Alone

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We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls. ― Anaïs Nin

into Light

Morning Walk

I walked alone,
A long, long while,
To see what I might see.
I thought alone,
For long, long Miles,
To ponder what I might be.
Then I came into the light,
I stood and watched it play,
And when the darkness fell on me,
I knew I’d stayed too late.
I wandered lost,
A long, long while,
Until I found my way.
Then I thought,
I’ll walk alone,
And find the light,
Some other day.

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